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May 7, 2012

The 14 Horses Microsoft Windows Phone Should Have Sponsored


As you may know, Microsoft Windows Phone recently sponsored the race horse “Hansen” in the Kentucky Derby.  This has led to more than a few probing questions such as “Which Hansen Brother was running?” or “Would Windows Phone sponsoring a horse make it an immediate favorite for third place?”  These questions aside, one does have to wonder how they chose Hansen as their choice for sponsorship.  Since most people pick horses based on their names, I thought I’d look to see if I couldn’t find a few more appropriate choices for the Windows Phone team to back.  Note these are real thoroughbred racing horse names pulled from The Jockey Club registry.

  • Metromania – Instead of crazy color patterns the horse could wear simple single colored blocks
  • Apple Eater - This horse would be full of hope, if not a bit delusional
  • C Sharp – The phone OS supporting the language that supports the phone OS
  • Skyper – The jockey would need to set his status as offline for the race though
  • Start Here – Slogan worked before, it could probably work again
  • Microsoft – Seems obvious really, not sure how they missed that one!
  • Mango Tango – Dancing or uprading, both would be funny to watch a horse do.
  • Bing Bang Boom – The sound of found… followed by a couple somewhat more distressing sounds
  • No More Sweets – Who needs ice cream sandwiches and gingerbread anyway?
  • No Time To Talk – An homage to the battery life of a Windows Phone, lets hope the horse’s power lasts longer
  • Not Much Chrome – And who needs Chrome anyway?
  • Azure Blue Angel – Fast like an F-18 and cloud connected
  • Cloud Kisser – Nobody loves cloud like a Windows Phone
  • Winaholic – I’m sure they meant a raging Windows fan!
  • Finnish First – Because that is how the new features will be coming out!

About the Author

is a Chief Architect specializing in large scale distributed system development and enterprise software processes. Paul has more than twenty years of development experience including being a former Microsoft MVP, a speaker at technical conferences such as Microsoft Tech-Ed and VSLive, and a published author. Prior to working on the Windows platform, he built software using a vast array of technologies including Java, Unix, C, and even OS/2.